Thursday, April 17, 2008

Dirty laundry

So I've got a secret. A few friends know about this and now I'm just going to put it out there. I've been "seeing" a therapist. Now "seeing" is in parenthesis because our visits are all done by Skype video chat. She's a Jungian therapist I met on the fabulous mother/baby yoga retreat I went to last July. I've been talking with her on and off for the past couple of months. I like her. She's got a great sensitivity and perception, but I guess the thing I don't like is that she doesn't really give me any solutions. Not having seen many therapists in my day, I don't know if this is standard procedure. I know I'm angry at my children a lot, I feel like shit about it. I'm a procrastinator, and can't seem to shake myself of it. I feel perpetually dissatisfied - okay, I know all this already. So what the hell do I do about it?!?!

Yet she doesn't offer any solutions. She makes observations sometimes pointing out that "you might feel A because of B", you know that kind of thing. It is great to talk to someone who has no emotional connection to me and is detached and a professional, but still pleasant. There's definitely something worthwhile in that. But do I want to continue this process indefinitely? Does she? I don't think either one of us does, but I don't see any closure to it. I hadn't talked to her in a couple of weeks and I could probably have very easily just never contacted her again. Yet my need to resolve these personal issues in my life is so strong that I'm willing to grasp at these straws even if these particular straws cost €50 a piece.

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