Early days

22 August
The girls just finished their first week of school. Green School, at least aesthetically, is everything we had thought it would be. It is a gorgeous school campus and if the academics and the green and creative ethos prove to be just as strong - this will truly be an amazing experience for all of us. It's still too early to tell, but the girls are saying it's been easy for them academically and the lack of books in the pre-K group (where Viola is) I find disturbing. Paloma and Giulia especially who had really good and strong friendships at St. George's are feeling the lack of good friendships here and so I'm hoping that there will be some girls in her class who will become her friends. Paloma is a bit tougher cookie - she's such an introvert - it has always been more difficult for her to make friends, but I'm hoping the best for her too. I know she desperately wants a friend to call her own and not someone she shares with Giulia.

I have to admit it's been disconcerting to note that most of the children don't seem very friendly and are stand-offish, something we are definitely not used to. The children at their former school were some of the nicest and friendliest kids I ever met and they interacted very well and comfortably with adults - something I've acutely noted here that is lacking. Our girls have a more European ease and composure mixing with both children and adults as opposed to many of the expat children here we've noticed who seem to have an unease and disinterest in mixing or meeting new people.

So far we have met some very nice parents and teachers - everyone is enthusiastic and happy to be here - those are all good signs. Many are just like us - parents who heard about the school, wanted to get out of their current grind and shake things up a bit. There are also quite a few families who live here permanently and returned after the first year which from what I understand was a very shaky one. However, there seems to be a lot of positive "energy" (a word I hear a lot here!) and everyone seems to want to move forward and are looking at the new year in a new and hopeful light.

Even though we don't live in a compound, we are definitely living an expat life here - much, much more so than our lives in Rome ever were. This is the big difference and shock for me here. In Rome, even though we are not Italian, will never be Italian and don't pretend to be Italian - after 10 years, 2 businesses and 3 daughters - we feel like a very Italianized family. I hope that makes sense. It's funny, but Giulia who was always very resistant to speaking Italian back home is now speaking Italian with us when she hears us speaking Italian. This is something that in Rome would have been absolutely unheard of. And now when asked the girls say they are from Rome - again something that there they never did.

The expat life here especially for those of us with families seems to involve having domestic staff including a driver and a big car to take everyone comfortably around. We now have a 7 seat Diahatsu Xenia - a big change from our Toyota Yaris. In Ubud especially, things are more catered to Western families. There's fresh milk in the grocery store, Cirio canned tomatoes, Barilla pasta and even Pepperidge Farm cookies and Goldfish (if you're so inclined). There's even parmigiano and pecorino, but while we got the parmigiano for our girls' pasta - it wasn't very good.

For the most part we've been trying to go more native in the food department. We've been cooking with coconut oil and eating a lot of stir fry - rice, noodles, veggies and nuts - the girls aren't into it, but Steve and I have been very happy with the food here. Also being in this particular area we have access to quite a bit organic produce and other products. We've had virtually no dairy (okay - except for my cafe latte in the afternoon and sometimes in the morning which I can't seem to get away from), no bread (not a bread culture here) and no pasta. I feel decidedly less bloated here - wish that contributed to weight loss, but no such luck - at least not yet!

Not in a million years did I think I would be someone who would have a driver, but unfortunately, the fact that the school is about 30-45 minutes away and with two different exit times (12:30 for Viola and 3:15 for Giulia and Paloma) makes it necessary otherwise our lives would completely revolve around the school run. The roads are also a bit of a nightmare to navigate - the roadsides are full of people, dogs, chickens, roosters and the roads are full of scooters, cars, trucks - all with suicidal driving habits. We were told the Balinese don't fear death so that's why they drive so recklessly and thoughtlessly. BIG difference in our cultures there! Our driver is a young guy named Dewa who is very nice and also does some small errands for us like taking our laundry in - there's an eco laundry service here that washes with soap nuts. For a large pile of laundry we pay about €10 and it comes back smelling clean, but not overly perfumed and ironed. The ironing alone was always a huge time eater for our cleaner in Rome so now it's nice that our housekeeper here can just concentrate on the cleaning which tropical life here makes an absolutely daily necessity.

We co-exist with ants, geckos, assorted lizards, unfortunately what is probably a rat and goodness knows what else comes out in the night. We have loads and loads of ants of all sizes, speeds and personalities - even in our spotless kitchen there are ants so there's no such thing as leaving food on the counters or dishes in the sink anymore. Gecko poo is everywhere and has to be swept up daily and cleaned off if dried. Yes, there are mosquitoes and we get bit - there's natural repellant, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I haven't felt the need to use the really strong stuff - at night we all sleep under mosquito nets and it's quite cozy and there's a ceiling fan. Right now it's winter though - so the weather has been relatively dry and the mornings and evenings are cool. There are even nights when I have been cold! I know this is not usual though and with summer and the rainy season coming up - I know the really hot and muggy times are ahead of us and I'm not looking forward to that.

We live in a small village called Bangkiang Sidem about 6 kilometers outside of the main town of Ubud. Everyone here except expats live in family compounds. Wildish, half starved, sickly looking dogs are everywhere and bark - A LOT. Roosters crow at all hours - unfortunately sometimes starting at 2:30/3:00 in the morning. There are small brown cows that moo not too far away and we can hear very unhappy pigs being carried off to market. At the same time, we can also hear gamelan music in the distance and sometimes up close at the neighborhood temple that is located a stone's throw from us. Every neighborhood has its temple and gamelan orchestra.

In this very rustic looking setting is a restaurant and guesthouse owned and operated by a French/Balinese couple who have three young kids. Their place is absolutely beautiful, very simple and elegant and they offer French/Balinese cuisine, artwork (he's a chef and an artist) and a guestroom for rent. It's quite the anomaly here in our little countrified setting, but so typical in this particular area of Bali. I don't know if other areas of Bali are quite like this. However, here in the Ubud area where there is such a large concentration of expats - expats who seem to be very entrepreneurial and creative - there are some lovely shops and restaurants here.

So far even with all the day to day we still have to do, it still feels like we are on holiday and I wonder if we'll ever feel like we actually live here. The umbilical cord linking us still to Rome makes us believe that we will never have that feeling of actually belonging to this place. The divide also between "us and them" - Balinese and anyone Western - is also very prevalent. I can't imagine how Megan must feel having this experience in East Timor. Bali which is a much different place still has this huge economic and cultural divide and it does make me feel uncomfortable when in the course of a few days (or even one day) I can easily spend the entire month's salary of one of our Balinese staff. However, unlike Rome where I never felt "different" in the sense that Italians and Americans are still Western - it's been a huge culture shock being the minority here. When the Balinese see us, we are so obviously not Asian much less Balinese. I'm afraid the economic and cultural divide is going to take a lot of getting used to.